Did she say “those 3 words”? Not the “I love you” words, the other ones. The “I am pregnant” words. Who knew that 3 words could carry so many emotions and questions all at the same time.
An unplanned pregnancy can leave you both feeling overwhelmed, scared, depressed, happy, excited, confused and upset all at the same time. Keep in mind that telling you may be one of the hardest things she has to do. She may be scared about your response, not care about your response or needing your support on what to do next. Each woman is different and faces this in her own way.
She needs time and support to process the emotions she is going through. The changes that are about to happen to her body no matter what she chooses to do with the pregnancy. Her body is already and will go through several changes. If she has chosen to include you then realize your support is extremely valuable to her. If you aren’t sure what she needs. Ask her. This isn’t the time to try and guess or read her mind. Clear communication is key.
We understand that guys may have many questions about what is going on as well. The number one question is always…are you sure?
You may be looking for more information to help her, or you, or both of you on how to understand and handle this unexpected situation. Perhaps this is a great thing. Perhaps you only met up with her one night. Perhaps you have been together for a long time. Perhaps this is an inconvenient unplanned thing that has your mind swirling. Whatever side you find yourself on, we are here to help with information and counseling on options.
Here are some thoughts for consideration that may help you through this:
- Check out the pregnancy symptoms list to check what some of the common symptoms are. Although this won’t diagnose the pregnancy, it can give you an indicator of what to look for and be aware of
- Listen. The power of a listening ear as she thinks, reads, researches and processing through all of this is so important. She may want to talk or she might not want to talk at all.
- Stability. Her body and hormones are changing. Her moods may be all over the place. Her food cravings may be all over the map as well. That being said, be solid and steady. Whatever she needs and however she reacts at the moment be a steady listening ear that stays calm as she is processing things.
- Educate yourself. There is a lot to know. Research and get information with her as she is looking at options so that you are educated as well.
- Express your feelings. This isn’t the time to play a tough guy. It’s time to be real and have real conversations. Be open and willing to share how you truly feel about her without pressuring her into any certain outcome
- Support System. She has her tribe and you need your guys too. Find those mentors, friends, adults, and parents in your life that you can trust. Ask for their advice. They have a little more time on this earth and their perspective might be helpful as you support her and you both talk through your options
First Things First: Let’s confirm if she is pregnant. Then we can look to identify if it is viable, the timeline and other options in one of our clinics
Lastly: Post-abortion support. Should the decision to terminate be the one that is made, our caring teams can offer you support as you process through that experience.