You know she’s pregnant. She knows you know. And somehow, the actual conversation still hasn’t happened, or it started and stalled before anything got resolved.
That’s where a lot of guys get stuck. Not because they don’t care, but because they’re not sure what to say, how to say it, or what she needs to hear right now. Schedule a no-cost, confidential appointment at InnerVisions HealthCare, where both of you can get accurate information and support together.
Start Before You Know What You Think
You don’t need to have a position before you talk to her. In fact, showing up with a fully formed opinion can shut down the conversation before it even starts.
What she likely needs first is to know you’re not going anywhere. That doesn’t require a plan. It requires presence.
Start there.
What to Actually Say
Here are a few approaches that tend to open the conversation instead of closing it:
- “I don’t have all the answers right now, but I want to figure this out with you.”
- “What are you feeling? I want to hear it before we talk about anything else.”
- “I’m not going to pressure you. I just want us to be honest with each other.”
Starting the conversation by being sensitive to her feelings helps you avoid common missteps: going straight to logistics, defaulting to silence, or reacting in a way that makes her feel like she’s handling this alone.
For example, saying, “I’m good with whatever you decide,” sounds understanding on the surface, but really, it removes you from the decision-making process and makes her feel isolated.
Where and When to Have the Conversation
Plan to have the conversation in a private place, without a time limit, and when neither of you is already in the middle of something stressful. Avoid starting the conversation right before work or over text. It’s essential to give the conversation the space and time it deserves.
If the conversation feels too charged to have alone, having it in a public setting or with a trusted third party can help.
What Comes After the Conversation
Once you’ve both had a chance to talk, the next practical step is getting accurate medical information.
An ultrasound confirms how far along your girlfriend is in her pregnancy, whether her pregnancy is developing normally, and whether it’s located in the uterus. Those details matter before either of you can realistically think through what comes next.
InnerVisions HealthCare offers no-cost pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, information on options, and telehealth appointments. Men are welcome, and you can attend together.
Call 515-440-2273, text 855-584-8302, or schedule online to set up a no-cost, confidential appointment.